Do you think it's possible?
Sometimes my thoughts complete a full circle, the question being if I'll ever be "happy" in this set of circumstances, in this society.
This occupied my mind at work so much that I scrawled down my thoughts into хуй знает, my pocketbook. I'm going to name all of my pocketbooks that from now on, when my current pocketbook retires the next one will be named хуй знает II.
Back on topic, what society looks like to me is the desire to have a family, raise children, go out drinking and partying with friends, spending money on expensive Apple products, lying to please a corporation you work for, putting down a mortgage for a house, and all this other bullshit.
I don't fit in, but I don't want to either.
I spoke to my comrade about this, and he says he doesn't focus on anything that doesn't bring him money or happiness.
But I just can't seem to connect my blue sky vision to reality, I keep moving forward in hopes I can stop coping someday. The facts are that happiness is an elusive privilege that shouldn't be expected.
Yet I'm still trying to bring my visions to life like some sort of deranged alchemist. I'm not too sure why either, if anything I'd rather see you happy. It seems to come to you so easily, you smile more than I do lately. Day or night.
I wish future me could give me some advice right now, my intuition is telling me to, "just keep going."